Improving your performance each week is challenging, even for the most dedicated of us. As part of the MAPPS coaching programme I encourage every single one of my clients to create a set of rules which they must stick to each and every day.
These rules, principles and behaviours becomes their badge of honour.
When this code comes from the heart, it makes it easier to stick to, because it has inner meaning with our life. However, sometimes for many of us, it doesn’t always go to plan and that’s absolutely fine.
We are constantly surrounded by apparent success, and people who appear to have the perfect life. However I’m not convinced that these people are being honest with us, or themselves.
Each and every one of us has times when we are flying high, but also when things just don’t go our way. That’s because life is never plain sailing.
If you are currently working hard but not quite getting the results you want, maybe you feel like you are swimming against the tide, instead of all the ‘guru success story’ bullshit that seems to be everywhere, take a look at the list below. Hopefully this real life advice will help you out a little. Most importantly, keep going, you will get there.
Be Grateful For What You Have
Sometimes we can hit periods of de-motivation and downheartedness when we feel like we have been trying so hard and the results are not quite as good as we would like them to be.
Now of course it’s about being patient and consistent and carrying on through these times. This is when people see real results, and smash down the barriers that have been blocking their path.
But we all have days when we struggle for motivation.
If you feel like this, try not to be too hard on yourself and instead think about where you are today as opposed to where you were when you started. You should also focus on the things that you have, such as the people around you that money can’t buy.
Put Yourself First
How can you be the foundation to your family or your business if you are in a weak and worn out condition?
Are you so busy helping and advising everyone else around you that you’re actually neglecting yourself and your own needs?
Or maybe you are helping others to avoid taking on challenges of your own and stepping outside of your comfort zone.
Helping people is a great thing to do and offers many benefits, but it is critical you put yourself first and meet your own needs, or you will suffer and remain stationary for the foreseeable future.
Give yourself some of your precious time, evaluate yourself and your own needs, and show yourself some care and attention for a change.
Take Your Time
As the famous saying goes, “The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again, and expect a different result”.
You have got to be prepared to change, there is no question about this. Certain behaviours need to stop and new habits need to be formed. If you are not prepared to do this then you will simply remain the same and will not improve.
However you don’t need to change all at once, lots of small changes over time will amount to one huge change – so take your time, and take it one step at a time.
Control Your Self Talk
Your thoughts and your inner voice is your reality, as your mind believes the stories that you tell it. They can either be your most powerful friend and ally, or your biggest enemy.
As the saying goes “The limits of your language are the limits of your life”.
What are the words you are saying to yourself using your inner voice each day? Because these words will determine the experience you have with your life each and every day. In order to change you must accept what you are saying to yourself each day and admit the truth of the damage this is causing.
Statements such as:
- I will try…
- I don’t like…
- I don’t want to…
- I need…
Will not help you in the pursuit of your goals. Instead, try and harness the use of positive language and use powerful words to yourself every day such as:
- I will…
- I am…
- I can…
- I commit to being the best I can be…
The nicer you are to yourself, the happier your life will be.
Embrace Then Face Your Fears
Each and every one of you has 80,000 – 100,000 thoughts per day. What do these consist of? I’m sure that many of these thoughts are based on fear and negativity.
The acronym of fear is
We all have our fears and on very different levels.
What things do you fear? You must admit to yourself the things that you fear the most, and embrace the fact that it is ok to be scared of something.
One of those fears is change, and exploring the unknown.
Being scared of making changes is a natural thing, it can be a daunting experience for many people to do things differently. We often focus on a fear of failure but many people also suffer from a fear of success.
Does this apply to you?
Just like with your inner voices, you have to become aware of this and embrace, then face your fears in order to make lasting changes. Once you do, you will look back on your current situation and smile with pride and increased self respect that you have achieved something massive, and maybe even something you never thought possible.
Most importantly understand that everybody has fears, it’s completely normal.
Make Your Goals Real
This is very important, as many people get goal setting horribly wrong. There’s no point setting goals that are totally unachievable and de-motivating, they need to be realistic and attainable.
If you are afraid of flying, jumping out of an aeroplane is probably not a great idea to begin with, no matter how good the palm may look in Dubai!
Take your goals one step at a time, so you give yourself a chance to succeed.
Push Forward, But Only When You Are Ready
You may have a friend or colleague that can run faster, lift heavier and tire less quickly than you, or appears to be ‘pushing on’ in life faster than you. That’s absolutely cool. There is no need to try and keep up or compete with them – doing so will only slow you down and prevent your progress as it distracts you from what you need to do.
Forget what everyone else around you is doing and go at your own pace.
You can use them to motivate you and even help push yourself a little, but comparing yourself to others (particularly peoples lies on social media), is a sure fire way to make you don’t feel so great about yourself, and ultimately slow down your development.
Remember that this thing called life is your journey and nobody else’s, sometimes you simply need to embrace where you are at and go with it, remembering that progress is progress, and is absolutely fine at your own pace.
Stop Looking At Social Media
I know people who pretend to be rich who are poor, who pretend to be happy when they are sad, and who claim to be health experts yet take steroids. People usually only place on social media the good things in their life, which is understandable. But nobody has a perfect life or body.
Stop comparing yourself.
Sometimes breaking down barriers to improve our performance can provide us with highs and lows. Development of anything, whether that’s ourselves, our business or a relationship often takes a little time and patience, despite what the social media gurus will tell you. We are all different and there is no set rule in life on the journey of success.
We all know that simply thinking about something is not going to make it happen, and at some point it is action that is going to get us where we want to be. But what is the point of getting there, if we haven’t embraced the journey?